What the Marshmallow Test Can Teach Us About Sleep Training

You’ve probably heard of the famous marshmallow test—a psychological experiment where young children were offered one marshmallow immediately, or two if they could wait. For years, it was seen as a test of willpower and future success.

But new research is shifting the spotlight away from willpower alone and toward something much deeper: trust.

And it turns out, this has a lot to teach us about sleep training too.

The New Take on the Marshmallow Test

In recent years, researchers revisited the marshmallow study and uncovered a fascinating insight: many children who waited for the second marshmallow weren’t necessarily better at resisting temptation. They simply trusted that the adult would return and follow through on the promise.

In other words, delay of gratification was strongly linked to the child’s belief in the reliability of their caregiver.

This finding reframes the whole conversation. It's not just about internal discipline—it’s about secure relationships and the ability to rely on others.

So What Does This Have to Do With Sleep Training?

Quite a lot, actually.

When it comes to sleep, children—especially babies and toddlers—are navigating big emotions and physical needs at bedtime. Whether they’re learning to fall asleep independently or managing night wakings, their emotional security and trust in you as their caregiver play a huge role.

Here’s how the marshmallow test findings map beautifully onto sleep training:

1. Trust is the Foundation for Sleep Skills

Just like the children who waited for the second marshmallow, babies and young children need to trust that:

• Their caregivers are consistent and responsive.

• Their needs will be met—even if not immediately.

• The world around them is safe and predictable.

Sleep training that’s grounded in responsiveness and routine helps build that trust. It’s not about withdrawing support—it’s about showing your child that sleep is safe, and that you’re still there, even if you're not always right beside them.

2. Consistency Builds Confidence

In the updated marshmallow study, children who had previously experienced unreliable adults (who didn’t return with the second marshmallow) were much more likely to eat the first one right away.

Similarly, when bedtime routines are inconsistent, or responses to night wakings vary dramatically, children can feel uncertain about what’s coming next. This can make it harder for them to relax and settle to sleep.

Consistent, predictable sleep routines provide a clear, safe structure—helping your child feel secure and able to let go into sleep.

3. Independence is Grown, Not Forced

Self-soothing at bedtime isn’t about toughing it out. It’s a skill that blossoms when a child feels safe and secure. The ability to manage feelings around bedtime grows from the foundation of a strong parent-child bond.

Just like in the marshmallow test, self-regulation and independence emerge from trust—not pressure.

The Bottom Line?

Sleep training works best when it’s not just about teaching a skill, but about strengthening your child’s sense of safety, security, and connection. When children trust that their needs will be met and their world is predictable, they feel more able to explore independence—including the ability to fall asleep on their own.

So the next time you hear about the marshmallow test, remember: it’s not about testing willpower. It’s about relationships. And that’s the same heart behind sleep support.

Getting back to routine after school holidays.

You’ve enjoyed a lovely break or maybe organising childcare has been a nightmare. You’re either celebrating getting back to routine or wistfully wishing for the more laid back schedule school holidays allow. If you are wondering how, here are some tips to help your child get back into a routine for back to school:

1. Gradually adjust their sleep schedule: Start adjusting their bedtime and wake-up time a week or two before school starts. Gradually shift their bedtime earlier by 15 minutes each night until they reach their desired school bedtime. This will help ensure they are well-rested when school starts.

2. Establish a morning routine: Create a consistent morning routine that includes specific tasks such as waking up, getting dressed, brushing teeth, having breakfast, and packing their school bag. Having a set routine will make mornings smoother and help your child prepare for the day ahead.

3. Start the day with a good breakfast: Offering nutritious foods for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This will help give your child the calties and nutrients they need which is important for their energy and focus during the school day.

4. Plan and organise their school supplies: Help your child prepare for school by organising their school supplies in advance. This includes labeling their schoolbag, gathering required books and stationery, and ensuring they have all necessary items ready for the first day.

5. Create a homework routine: Even at a young age, encourage your child to have a designated homework area and a consistent time for completing any assignments or school-related activities. This will help avoid panic before school or bedtime and remove any anxiety around home work.

6. Introduce a bedtime routine: Establish a calming bedtime routine to help your child wind down and prepare for sleep. This can include activities like reading a bedtime story, taking a warm bath, or engaging in quiet play. Consistency is key in promoting good sleep habits.

7. Communicate with your child about school: Talk to your child about their feelings towards school and address any concerns or anxieties they may have. Encourage them to ask questions and talk openly about their experiences.

8. Practice the school routine: Before school starts, simulate a school day at home. Wake your child up at the same time they would be waking up for school, go through the morning routine, and allocate time for play, learning activities, and rest times.

9. Reinforce positive behavior and encourage your child to be independent in completing tasks appropriate for their age.

10. Be patient and flexible: Adjusting to a new routine can take time, especially for young children. Be patient and flexible with your child as they adapt and don't hesitate to make adjustments based on their specific needs.

By implementing these strategies, you can help your child transition smoothly into their back-to-school routine.

Clock Changes

Clock changes happen whether we agree with them or not. Some people (usually people without young children) don’t mind them, others tolerate them but for a family with a young child or a baby they can really change the sleep dynamic you have worked so hard on.

Unfortunately there isn’t anything you can do to stop the clock changes but you can change the way you baby or child responds to them.

Fall Back:

For older children you can talk to them about going to bed a little later and make it exciting. You can use clocks in their rooms to discourage them from getting up too early when the clocks go back. For younger children and babies you should start preparing about a week in advance and move bedtime later by 10 minutes each night until it is moved by 1 hour. the mornings will take a little time to follow but they will. You absolutely shouldn’t ignore this one as a little one who currently wakes at 6 could be waking at 5am or earlier following the October clock change. Keep your consistent bedtime and nap routine going and remember to adjust nap timings accordingly.

Spring Forward:

Let’s be honest even those who don’t have young children don’t love this one. An hour less in bed but for families with young children it can help move an early riser (albeit temporarily) to give parents a more sensible wake up time. This one is easier to fix itself as parents can wake at a normal time for the day and follow nap structure and after 1 or 2 nights things should be back to normal.

Just remember not to ignore any changes in sleep that the clock changes bring about. look out for them and address them sooner rather than later to get your harmonious routine again! And if you do need extra support book a trouble shooting call and we can iron things out together.

Why does my baby need to nap?

As a sleep consultant, I often get asked about the importance of naps for babies. It's a common concern for parents who are trying to navigate the complex world of infant sleep. So, why exactly does your baby need to nap? Let's dive into the benefits and reasons behind those daytime snoozes.

1. Essential for Growth and Development

Babies grow and develop at a rapid pace during their first years of life. Naps provide the necessary downtime for their bodies to undergo crucial growth processes. During sleep, the body releases growth hormones, repairs tissues, and builds muscle. Additionally, the brain consolidates new information and strengthens neural connections, which is vital for cognitive development.

2. Improves Night-time Sleep

It may seem counterintuitive, but regular daytime naps actually contribute to better night-time sleep. An overtired baby can become fussy and have a harder time settling down for the night. By ensuring your baby gets sufficient daytime sleep, you help maintain a balanced sleep schedule that supports longer and more restful night-time sleep.

3. Boosts Mood and Temperament

A well-rested baby is generally a happier and more content baby. Lack of sleep can lead to crankiness, irritability, and difficulty in managing emotions. Regular naps help regulate your baby's mood, making them more pleasant and easier to soothe throughout the day.

4. Enhances Learning and Memory

Babies are constantly learning about the world around them. Naps play a crucial role in helping them process and retain new information. During sleep, the brain processes experiences and consolidates memories, which aids in learning and development. Regular naps ensure that your baby is better able to absorb and retain new skills and knowledge.

5. Supports Physical Health

Adequate sleep is essential for maintaining a healthy immune system. Babies who get enough sleep are less likely to fall ill and recover more quickly if they do get sick. Naps also contribute to overall physical well-being by helping regulate metabolism and energy levels.

6. Provides a Break for Parents

Let's not forget the importance of naps for parents! While your baby naps, you have the opportunity to rest, recharge, or take care of other tasks. This break can be invaluable for maintaining your own well-being and managing the demands of parenthood.

How to Encourage Napping

To ensure your baby gets the most out of their naps, consider these tips:

• Create a Nap Routine: Establish a consistent nap schedule and pre-nap routine to signal to your baby that it's time to sleep. This could include activities like reading a book, singing a lullaby, or using a white noise machine.

• Watch for Sleep Cues: Pay attention to your baby's sleep cues, such as rubbing their eyes, yawning, or becoming fussy. These signals indicate that your baby is ready for a nap.

• Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Make the nap environment conducive to sleep by keeping the room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Use blackout curtains and a white noise machine if necessary.

• Avoid Overstimulation: Prior to nap-time, keep activities calm and quiet to help your baby wind down. Avoid overstimulating activities that can make it harder for your baby to settle down.

In conclusion, naps are a crucial part of your baby's overall health and development. By understanding the importance of naps and implementing effective nap strategies, you can help ensure that your baby gets the restful sleep they need to thrive.